How to avoid mediocrity and complacency: Okay is just not good enough
How are you doing? Okay. How is work? Okay. How is your relationship? Okay. How is life? Okay. On any given day, people can take a look at all the things going on in their life and be satisfied with them being just mediocre and okay. It can be easy to accept this state of “okay” because it is not as if things are going badly. They are not at a point where they are causing serious issues and people have learned to just accept them for what they are. It’s all just okay.
The alternaview:
The alternaview is that “okay” is just not good enough. If any single thing in your life is just okay or mediocre, then you need to find the motivation to begin to do something to change and improve it. Don’t accept things or the status quo just because it is not causing you enough dissatisfaction. Be proactive and do something about things before they really do start causing you serious issues.
The Meter
Bad → Not too bad → Okay → Pretty good → Good → Great → AMAZING
The things in your life, what you are doing and how you feel, all need to register pretty high up on the meter. Everything needs to honestly register somewhere in the green on the meter and at the very least be “pretty good”. If that is not the case, then you should be working on changing those things that are falling short of that rating.
Accepting that things are “okay” is only going to get you more “okay” things. Desire and expect more out of every single thing in your life. If your job just makes you feel “okay” or if you feel the work you are producing is just “okay”, there is something wrong. Perhaps it is your job or perhaps it is how you have chosen to approach your job. Whatever the case may be, something is not working and you need to do whatever you can to change it because it is not going to just suddenly improve on its own.
Life and the things in life are not supposed to be just “okay”. That is not the way it was designed to be. It is not that everything has to make us feel amazing, but if anything in life is not at least pretty good, we need to either change it or change our perspective. (Yes, as Forest Gump said, "Life is like a box of chocolates and you don’t know what you are going to get"…but what you do know is that chocolate is supposed to taste good).
Why?
Because it matters how you feel at every moment of the day. It impacts who we are and how our life will play out. How we feel is not something we can take lightly and how we feel is determined by how we feel about the things in our life. We are going to have those days when things don’t go as planned or when challenges arise. That’s okay and to be expected. We can manage through those days. However, what we should not accept is a perpetual or lingering state where we just feel “okay” (or worse than okay) about something or just life in general. We should actively be trying to do something about that because life is supposed to be great and make us feel great.
Things that come to mind where “okay” is just not good enough:
- An okay job
- An okay relationship
- An okay workout
- An okay Starbucks Grande Latte
- An okay amount of effort (toward anything)
- An okay amount of dedication to our goals and where we are going
- An okay friend
- An okay mood
- An okay persepctive
The list goes on…
How to use this alternaview:
1. Expect great things out of life. Aim for the best, expect to reach it and to always have great things in your life. You have to realize you are entitled to great things. Just because you may have not consistently experienced them in all aspects of your life in the past, most certainly doesn’t mean you weren’t supposed to. No one is supposed to be unhappy about their life or the things in their life. That is just not the purpose. Realize this truism so that you know what you should be expecting out of life.
2. Consistently and honestly evaluate the things in your life, what you are doing, how you are doing it and how you feel. If we honestly take a look at these things we know what kind of day we are having and we know how we are feeling. In order to know that we need to change or improve things, we need to acknowledge and be on the lookout of feelings of “okay” or complacency.
3. Develop goals and plans. Spend time developing a plan to improve those things in your life that are just “okay”. Think through where you currently are and where you ultimately need to be. Work on creating a road map and a detailed action plan so that you know where you are going and how you are going to get there.
4. Take action. Don’t just dream and develop plans, actually do something about it. It’s time to move. It’s time to take action. You have to figure out how best to push yourself continually and consistently so that you are always making progress against your plan. If you aren’t doing what it takes to move forward, then you are being complacent and settling for “okay”. Take action every single day.
5. Keep pushing yourself. Recognize that it is a journey and you are going to need to continually find the motivation to keep going. There may be days when you want to just relax and slip back into accepting the status quo, but even on those days you have to keep pushing. Everyday may not be as productive as you like or as it should be, but you have to make certain you are continually pushing yourself towards your goal.
6. Be real with yourself…no excuses. It is amazing how easily we can convince ourselves that we have a good excuse to not do something. We allow ourselves to use the circumstances or what is going on around us as excuses. Be on the lookout for excuses. Understand that there aren’t any real good reasons you are not making progress and moving in the direction you should be. Don’t let your mind trick you into tolerating complacency or convince you that you are making progress when you really are not.
Life is supposed to be great. We are meant to enjoy it and the things and people in our life. Okay, is just not good enough. Don’t accept mediocrity or the status quo just because it is okay. Change your perspective, change what you are doing, change your approach, change your dedication, change your effort…whatever the case may be, refuse to accept “okay”. Do something about it…that is the alternaview.
What do you think of this alternaview? Are there things you can add to the list of what shouldn't just be "okay"
22 Responses »
Trackbacks
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Hi Sibyl.
Good idea there about putting the "Okay" section in the slightly bad category of red colors, because it sure is that way. We don't look back with gladness at the things we did at an average level, because they sort of disappoint us in how we could have done better. They don't make us look terrible, but they make us fit right in, so that our material could basically be ignored with no loss.
Feeling "okay" is sort of a downer like you describe here, because I compare when I feel great to when I feel "okay", and the difference is easily noticeable. Feeling "okay" is sort of like saying time is passing and little is occurring. We can't let this time pass like that. Excuses fit well in trash cans.
Fitting point.
Armen Shirvanian´s last blog ..Motivation Related To Production
@Armen: Thanks for the comment. You are so right, feeling okay is sorty of like saying time is passing by and little is occurring. I thought that was a really good point. Always good to have you at the alternaview.
Imagine you have a sailboat to steer. Steering a sailboat is not easy although there is an optimal course that a sailor should obviously try to steer. However, if you ask him how he currently thinks he is doing, his answer is going to depend a lot more on his temperament or personality than whether he is sailing optimally.
If he is easily excitable, he might just say "I'm doing AMAZING", and that is even if there is lots of room for improvement. For one that usually answers "Not too bad", I notice that a lot of times when people are doing "amazing" and "awesome" things that those things are actually pretty mundane, like, they just went on an "awesome 3 mile run" (anything under 50 miles is not awesome, really!) or that they just drank an "amazing" cup of coffee or ate an "awesome" hotdog. Yet, they are under the impression that hotdogs and jogs are awesome and that's okay(!)
Well then,... I think it's perfectly alright that some people are amazed by an awesome hotdog---and that all hotdogs are awesome, but I also think it is alright (or awesome?) that some people just comment that the hotdog is "not too bad" as long as both groups have a realistic perception of what they are doing.
What we're sometimes just dealing with is just a problem of communication. When I say something is awesome, I really mean awesome like a nuclear bomb or awesome like a killer whale. These really are different than an simple cup of coffee, even if the cup is very large.
Early Retirement Extreme´s last blog ..My Early Retirement Story
@Early Retirement Extreme: Welcome to the alternaview and thanks for the thought provoking comment. You definitely pushed me to think a little bit more about my point. Thank you for that. I do agree with you that people need to be honest about the assessments they are making about their actions and or things in their life. I think we just have to always make certain we are pushing ourselves and aiming to always do the best we can and to have those great things we deserve. The key is to just make certain we have not become comfortable with settling for mediocrity.
I SO needed to hear this today. I realized after reading it that I spent much of my week just going through the motions, instead of finding a way to say, "Here are the incredible things I'm going to work on."
Perspective back - thanks, truly, for the inspiration.
@Melissa: Thanks for the comment and welcome to the alternaview. It is really good to have you here. You are so right that it is too easy to just go through the motions day after day. I think having higher expectations about those things in our life is key and allows us to always keep it top of mind. I really liked the standard you described "incredible things I'm going to work on". It would be less likely that we would fall into the land of mediocrity with this as our goal. Thanks again for the comment.
Talk about perfect timing.
I'm currently doing "okay" on most aspects of my life. Though I've always known in the back of my mind that this isn't how life should be, and that I can be more than "okay", I find myself being just "okay", because I'm afraid of aiming for high goals and failing. So I've become comfortable with being just "okay", and unfortunately, it can be hard to step out of one's comfort zone.
But like what Armen said, "Excuses fit well in trash cans."
No more excuses for me, and no more being just "okay" -- easier said than done, I know, but I'll keep this post in my mind.
Thanks very much for this.
@A: Thanks for the comment and welcome to the alternaview. I think a lot of us understand exactly what you mean about it being hard to step outside of your comfort zone and aim for those higher goals. The important thing to do is exactly what you are doing, acknowledge your discomfort, but push through it. Armen's quote about excuses is so true and we have to call ourselves out every time we try to make excuses and do all we can to move in the direction we know we should be. Like you said... easier said than done, but we have to always keep pushing. I am glad you enjoyed the post and thank you again for the thoughtful comment. It is great to have you here at the alternaview.
What a wonderful post! I've been stuck at #4 for too long (ahem, years).
Was sitting here trying to write and feeling "okay" about my efforts when I came across this. Join the others above who praise the timing.
As mentioned, it is very hard to throw off "comfort" of accepting mediocrity too many times. But knowing this is a big step forward.
Now. Off to be proactive. Don't really know how yet, but will try.
Thanks!
Good article. My favorite part is certainly the practical tips at the end. Great reminders
of how to have more than an okay life!
Brad´s last blog ..A Little Old? Yes. Still Amazing? Yep.
@Early Retirement Extreme, you are so right. Kids today use "awesome" like we used to use "cool" - each time I heard my son use it so lightly, I gently reminded him that GOD is awesome. It changed his perspective. Thanks for the reminder. @Sibyl, thanks for the post. It's a good one!
Hi Sibyl,
All your posts have been quite an inspiration and so is this one.
We all know that everything is pretty much doable by anyone..its only the right spirit that is lacking, this has been rightly pointed out by you in points 1,4 and 5. Once we realize that we deserve much more than "okay", may that be just a simple coffee, we will rise above our okay standards.
Out of the things that you mentioned which are not meant to be okay enough, I feel "An okay amount of dedication to our goals and where we are going" is quite important. Most of us lose focus while moving towards our goal. We settle for the okay while aiming for the high. I think this has a relation with our self-esteem as well. If we get used to looking at ourselves in a certain way, we sorta fall into an inertia. It is very important to keep jerking ourself out of that inertia of stagnation and keep moving towards a better image of ourself, having a better self-esteem and to a more than mediocre image of ourselves.
For me a very few things are in the range amazing to pretty good rest are okay.But I am happy about it.What do you suggest Sibyl?
I think you should not worry about being okay or pretty good or amazing.The question you should ask to your inner self is that "Am I happy about it ?"If you are okay with something and at the same time happy with that then no need to create a fuss about that.If something bothers you and makes you feel bad then only one should go ahead and try to change it.
suvro´s last blog ..I love PIXAR
@survo: Thanks for the comment. I am honestly having to really think through your question. You make a very good point that we should not create additional fuss or worry because things are not a certain way in life. That is very true. I think though that we have to be able to expect and seek the best things out of life while not creating additional worry because certain things are "okay".
If you are happy about things being okay, perhaps they really are a little better than just okay since they are making you happy. Maybe it is just a matter of transforming your perspective on those things in your life. Whatever the case may be...happy is good...let's not mess with that:)
For me, I know that some things in my life are okay and I am on a journey that will eventually lead to all things being pretty good or amazing. Perhaps the things in my life may literally change or maybe it will be my perspective. I guess only time will tell. Thank you again for the very thoughtful comment. It is always nice to have you commenting here at the alternaview. Sibyl
@Heena: Thanks for the comment. I really liked the way you put it about breaking out of the inertia. It really is all about knowing all we can achieve and then continually moving in that direction until we realize our desires. In order to successfully do so, we do have to break out of inertia. It is great to have you commenting here at the alternaivew. Your comments are always so insightful. I really appreciate it. Have a good one. Sibyl
Wow I just an hour ago published an article about Ebbs and Flows of Self-Discipline, where I talk about the dangers of complacency in one's life. I like the articulation here and the 6 points. The only one I would add, since I just wrote about it in extent and while it may be implied in your 6 points, worth saying anyway: Do not give in to complacency!!! Don't settle when you can reach for the next milestone, next boundary, next anything you are dreaming of!
Farnoosh: Welcome to the alternaview and thanks for the comment and the addition. You are so right that you can't give into complacency and you can't settle when you know you are capable of continuing. I am looking forward to reading your article about Ebbs and Flows of Self-Discipline. It sounds very interesting and I am on my way to your blog to check it out. Thanks again for the comment and have a great weekend. Sibyl
Hi Sibyl,
I think it is important to be elated about life and try and change our circumstance when necessary. I see how we can become complacent in our personal lives, just as we do at work. Sometimes though it is alright to relax and think it is okay. So-so living is surely something we want to steer clear of, but we need to be careful, of how we define mediocrity.
Thanks for another great post...see you soon.
Sandra Hendricks´s last blog ..What Motivates You to Take Action?
Thanks for this amazing post. I needed this. The world needs this. I'm tired and beat down of 'OK'. OK just doesn't get it anymore. Keep doing ok and that's all you'll ever get. Thanks again.
Rick: Welcome to the alternaview and thank you so much for the comment. You summed it up perfectly ... none of us need anything that is just OK. We are all entitled to so much more and we have to realize that reality and go for it. Thank you again for the comment and stopping by the alternaview. I really appreciate it.