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Have you ever had those days when everything is just not clicking?  You are kind of just feeling blasé and not really excited to encounter any challenges that may come your way.  Or, what about those times when someone has done or said something that either upset or annoyed you and before you know it you have kind of worked yourself into a not so great mood?

There are so many recommendations that suggest different strategies for managing through these times.  The vast majority of these strategies require that we focus on ourselves and manage through our anger or frustration.  While we most certainly need to identify an effective way to work through what is bothering us, there is also another thing we can do that will guarantee us to instantly improve our mood.

The alternaview
The alternaview is that one of the fastest and quickest ways to get in a better mood is to turn your focus and attention away from yourself, and instead focus on making someone else (preferably that you like…your kids, your friends, your siblings) have a great experience.

The focus shifts away from ourselves and the person or thing that has caused us concern and shifts to having good thoughts about someone else and determining ways we can immediately engage and elevate the experience they are having.

As an example, let’s just say that you just had a debate with someone and you now feel a little agitated and worked up.  Instead of focusing on all of the reasons why you are right and why you just can’t take them anymore, you would instead call one of your friends and ask them about their weekend…or perhaps you would direct your complete attention to engaging with your daughter and making her laugh and have fun.

This approach requires you to really dial up your participation and engagement and focus your attention on how you can make sure someone else is really having a good experience.  Perhaps that means having an amazing conversation with someone, making them laugh, listening to their stories, having genuine interest in what they are saying, or helping them with what they are doing…whatever the case may be, you have literally shifted your focus and are putting your energy into someone else’s positive experience.

And, it really will instantaneously lift our moods when we focus on giving out great energy and making someone else feel more enthused or excited about their current experience.  Yes, we will still need to deal with the situation and whatever it is that initially put us into a bad mood, but we will be more equipped to deal with anything when we are in a good mood and feeling better about things.  We just have more positive feelings and thoughts running through our minds and that is positive momentum we can build on.

So, the next time you are feeling just so-so or someone has just pushed you too far, focus on improving the experience of another person close to you that you really like.  If you are sincerely able to do this, it will allow you to get out of your own way and immediately lift your mood.  It really is the good old golden rule at work again…that is the alternaview.

Do you agree with this alternaview?  Have you ever tried to change your mood this way?

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