How to Motivate Yourself to do those things you don’t want to do…but know you should

The majority of us have had those times where we have to do something we really don’t feel like doing. Perhaps it is the terrible project at work, working with someone we would prefer not to, or taking that unexpected business trip. Whatever the case may be, we are at a point where we realize the best option is to just go ahead and do it, despite the fact that we really have very little desire to do so.

There are always options on how we choose to handle situations.  We may put off doing the task and convince ourselves we will do it later (there is always next week). Or, we may begrudgingly complete the task and complain about it every step of the way.  Many people will assume the situation is nothing more than just another time when they need to do something they don’t want to do.

However, as is often the case, there is something more going on…

The alternaview

The alternaview is that when things arise that we know we have to do, but just have no desire to do them, we need to realize we are being approached with yet another opportunity to practice and strengthen how we handle undesirable situations.  These events do not arise in our lives simply for no reason and we need to develop a plan so that we can take advantage of improving our ability to change our perspective and make certain we are handling them in the right way.

The best thing we can do is to focus all of our energy and effort on improving our perspective on what we need to do.  We need to find a way to not just get through the situation, but rather to get through it in a good way with the right perspective.   We need to find a way to fall in love (or at the very least, “in like”) with whatever it is we have to do.

Why?

Well, first off, it will make it much easier to do what we need to do.  You will not have built up something so negatively in your mind that by the time you actually do it, it feels ten times worse than it actually is.

And, what is equally important is that by improving our perspective, we are getting rid of any possible negative feelings and thoughts about the things in our life, which really can be the first domino to fall and the initiator of a negative chain of events.  These negative thoughts or feelings have the ability to impact other aspects of our lives and other unrelated experiences.  At the very least, they can put us in a bad mood and influence the type of day we are having.

And, that’s why as soon as we notice any signs of discontent, we have to stop the fall at the first domino and make certain there is as little collateral damage as possible.  We have to immediately turn things around and improve our perspective, and when we do, not only will we feel better about what we need to do, but we also will be positively influencing our mood and other experiences.

How to use this alternaview:

1. Just do it. Don’t sit around dreading what you know you have to do, just do it and as soon as you begin, there will be positive momentum that is generated that you can build off of.

2. Give yourself a reward for doing it. If you had to go on that undesired business trip, perhaps you take the next day off or treat yourself to something you don’t ordinarily get to do.

3.  Find something good about what you have to do. There is always something…you just have to honestly look.  If it will somehow serve a positive purpose in the future, focus on that.

4. Think about other things that you actually like. You can borrow “feel good equity” from other things you are experiencing that make you happy.  Borrow some of that positive energy even if it is unrelated.

5. No Sob Stories. Don't complain about what you need to do to anyone else.  Try to always frame the situation in a positive manner when describing it to other people (i.e. I have to take a 5 hour flight, but at least I will get in some good reading time).  It is not going to help you to have a pity party and it certainly isn't helpful to invite anyone else.

6.  Think about how great you will feel once you are done. It is amazing how good you feel when you have finally completed that one thing that has been weighing on your mind.  Look forward to having that feeling.

The best thing we can do for ourselves is to decide upfront how we are going to choose to handle all types of situations.  When we develop positive approaches that we can put into practice, we are no longer just reacting to situations, but rather are executing a well thought out plan.  We are managing through all types of situations in a way that will serve us well and provide the most benefits.  When something arises that you just don't want to do, but know you should, do everything you can to change your perspective...don't allow your mind to classify it as undesirable and you will be amazed at how much easier it is to deal with...that is the alternaview.

Do you agree with this alternaview?  Have you had success putting it into practice?