The Importance of Finding Middle Ground

Posted by Sibyl • August 24, 2009 • Printer-friendly • Permalink

The Current News Being Reported:

(CNN) -- As President Obama struggles to regain control of the health care debate, he's finding himself caught in a game of tug of war with members of his own party. The administration has acknowledged that it will be difficult to pass a bill with bipartisan support.

The alternaview:

Will the republicans be able to make enough noise? Will the democrats be able to unite? Is it really just all about healthcare and who is wrong or right or is there something else that we are supposed to takeaway and learn from the healthcare debate? The alternaview is that while there are obviously important issues to be worked through and a need for a healthcare resolution, the healthcare debate serves as a reminder of why our attention should always be on finding a middle ground when things arise in life that are surrounded by different perspectives. We should take notice of what is going on beyond the traditional discussions surrounding the healthcare debate because there are things we can learn that will benefit us in our own lives.

Think about those times at work or at home where you felt strongly about something, but there was somoeone who didn’t agree with your perspective. Even small things such as, what you should have for dinner? Who should take out the trash? Who should put the kids to sleep? How should a project be completed? Who should have to do it?...the list goes on and of course sometimes the issues are much more serious.

Similar to what is going on with healthcare, there are often emotions and strong opinions on both sides of the issues, and the healthcare debate shows us what happens when we don’t find some type of middle ground…the debate continues and the issue remains either unresolved and/or surrounded by negative emotions.

Also similar to healthcare, there usually are aspects where there is some agreement, but perhaps we are not using those as the starting point. In terms of healthcare, despite all the debates and back and forth we see, so many people agree healthcare costs are out of control, we need to provide an opportunity for every American to get health insurance, and something ultimately must change. In terms of the issues in our own lives, these points of agreement often exist, but also may not be focused on nearly as much as they should be because we are focusing on why we disagree with someone and why we are right.

When we genuinely want to integrate this alternaview into our life:

1. Respect the person on the other side:

If you have accidentally forgotten, remember that the person you disagree with is not a bad person and similar to you, is only trying to do what they believe is best.
Even if you feel that they are only looking out for their own interests and needs, you have to find a way to respect them and the fact that they are entitled to their own opinion.

2. Realize there are always points of agreement:

There are usually more things we agree on with people on the other side of an issue than we would imagine or realize.
We should turn our attention to these points of agreement and start off any conversations with the other person by discussing them and pointing them out. Start conversations off right by focusing on the shared opinions.

3. Be Open Minded:

Although you may actually be 100% right, there is always something to be said about being open minded to another perspective.
You also have to be open minded enough to listen to the other perspective and not completely shut down so that you don’t even really hear their issues and opinions.

4. Be flexible and push yourself to find middle ground:

Your first goal has to be to find a resolution and not to just prove that you are right. Make sure you are not just attached to your opinion, because it is YOUR opinion.

Every time I hear another update about the healthcare debate, I am reminded of how easily things can go wrong in our own lives when we don’t do all we can to find a compromise. Granted, there may be things we are unable to concede and ultimately everyone can not get their way. Nevertheless, there is something to be said about respectfully and genuinely working though issues together and being open minded enough to identify those areas where reasonable concessions can be made in order to reach a workable solution…this is the alternaview.