The Same Experience…A Different Perspective
I was speaking to two different people on separate occasions that went on the same vacation together. It was so interesting because the descriptions were completely different, one person described it as a great and amazing vacation, and the other person described it as an okay vacation, with many miserable experiences. How does that happen?
The alternaview:
If good things happen in any given situation, does it mean that your experience will be better? If the weather is perfect, if the food is amazing, if everything you see is gorgeous does it guarantee you will characterize the experience as great? Not necessarily,…despite the fact it may appear that what happens in any given situation defines your experience, the alternaview is that what you choose to think about and focus on actually defines your experience. You can be so consumed with what is going wrong, that you overlook all that is going right.
In any experience, there will be a multitude of things that will occur. Some of the things you may classify as good, such as the weather; some of the things you may define as awful, such as a delayed flight or a bad meal. The reality is that you get to determine how all of these things will impact your perception and ultimately your experience. You can choose to focus on those things that irritate and frustrate you, or you can instead choose to acknowledge and enjoy those things that are pleasurable and improve your experience.
This is the difference between people who are generally happy and enjoying things in life. They take notice of the things they enjoy and appreciate, both big and small, and although they may also notice those things that are not perfect, they accept them for what they are and do not really focus on them.
When we genuinely want to integrate this alternaview into our life:
We should deny the not so great things and the distractions the ability to consume our attention. Clearly, some of them you will notice, (I mean if you miss your flight it is obvious you are not on a plane and plans will have to change). However, the reality is that you do not have to allow the issues to define your experience because there will always be other good things and perspectives you can focus on. It is really all about what you choose to take notice of and how you allow it to impact your perception and reality.
These choices arise so often in life and in so many different situations. Think about two different cars in a traffic jam…Driver #1 is focusing on the fact that (1) he is going to be late, (2) he is so annoyed that he always has to deal with traffic, (3) he is upset by the car that just cut into line in front of him, (4) he is now dreading his drive home because he will probably get caught up in traffic again.
Driver #2 accepts there is nothing he can do about the traffic and decides to take advantage of the time by enjoying some good music and returning some phone calls to friends. Who do you think is happier at that moment and probably happier in life?...this is the alternaview.
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"It is really all about what you choose to take notice of and how you allow it to impact your perception and reality."
Awesome, agreed! For a over a couple years now I have been working on developing the ability to view situations (both those that directly affect me, and those external to me) from multiple perspectives. The ability to see something from multiple perspectives is like a muscle... the more you work it, the easier it becomes. The intangible benefit is that of developing a sense of non-judgement that can really help us grow as individuals, and experience more joy and love for others.
Karthik Kumar | Between a Breath´s last blog ..7 Uncommon Reasons Why You Should Blog on Personal Development
Karthik: Welcome to the alternaview. Thank you for the insightful comment. You are so right and make a great point that strengthening the ability to view situations from different perspectives is like strengthening a muscle. I know I have been working to try to strengthen this ability in my life as well and you are so right, it really does continue to develop overtime as long as you are putting forth a concerted effort to strengthen it.